I've been on my 'Spring Break' for a few days now. Everyone else is still at work or in school, so I've been kinda lonely lately. 'Sokay though. I get to catch up on work (of which I know I'm not going to do any next week), organize and reorganize OC schedule, sleep. Still, I think I'd feel better about this Spring Break if I didn't feel like everything around me is at a standstill.
And I'm not talking about things physically halting (which would be aMAZing...). I know that when I go back to Houston and Rice, I'm going to feel like nothing has changed. Sure, we've just had a break from school. Everyone feels rested, accomplished, renewed. When we all get back, classes resume, work picks up, everything settles into place. But it feels the same. Nothing will be different.
I don't know whether it'll be because of the social dynamics, the political charges, my increasingly odd dreams, or what. Maybe I just feel like everything is moving, but nothing is changing. Maybe no one else sees it. I could be worrying too much about it, but I know that I'm not really 'worried' about it. It just makes me feel like I'm not really me. Inside. Everyone treats me the same, but I'm different.
It is an odd disconnect, I know. I had these weird feelings back in HS, and my eye started twitching. (Note: My eye probably starting twitching from the stress of AP testing.) I haven't had such a strong instance of the feeling since, idk, this time last year? Maybe it's a seasonal thing; AP testing is in the spring.
I just had a thought.
I will pray about this.
