...and for what?

I named my bike Pajarrito.  His name was inspired by the construction workers outside of the Hanszen master's house.  As I passed by them, they turned, looked, and called out "Pajarrito!"  They then returned to their work, smiling, as I turned towards the library, thinking about the fit of the name.  I think it works beautifully.  :)

...

I'm such an obsessive person, and yet...  People, e-mail, small details, but not homework.  what a surprise.

:::

Tonight is Girls Night for the CSA.  I'm super excited.  Dinner, Wall-E/Ironman, baking, sleepover, games, girl time.  WOOHOO!

This afternoon I'll be shopping for tomorrow's "Somewhere Over the Flutes".   I'm yellow. :D

Tomorrow is a football game.  It'll be good, especially with a colorific flute section.

Sunday is going to be ridiculous.  I don't want to think about it.

next week is thanksgiving. :/

............  my birthday is coming up. :?

 

-jcruz

Little Known Fact

I can't keep in touch with people.  Like, I try.  But, really, I feel like I am more of a person-to-person person.  I know it's not the end of the world, but I'd like to be able to keep in touch with people.  I've recently broken my addiction to effbook, and realized that e-mail is what I live for.  And I've tried the e-mail pen pal thing.  But when it's someone I really care about, someone I really know, I can't write e-mails that mean something.  I do the whole 'this is junk mail' thing really well, but that's because it doesn't take much thought  or effort or time.  I want people to know that I care about them, and short by-the-wayside emailed comments just doesn't cut it for me (if you are someone I 'junk mail' I don't mean that I don't like you.  I probably just see you more than I see most other people).

...

I just saw Orson Scott Card speak here (in Denton).  I think that he might be one of the most intelligent speakers I've ever heard AND he wasn't a jerk like Stahlman, so, overall, I'd say he was a pretty swell guy. 

Fiction is vicarious memory.  We remember things that haven't or don't happen to us... We don't have to die to know what is worth dying for.

I recorded some of his speech.  Usually I don't- I'm quite happy with pictures and I'd rather have the memory of having seen and heard whatever while there rather than the memory of having seen and heard whatever from my camera.  I'm not going to post it anywhere, but I wanted to be able to go back and revisit the wonder I felt at his knowledgability (which isn't a word, beeteedubs). 

He joins the list of important people who have spoken at me.  It *might* have altered my life.  Pretty good. =)

:::

I've made the decision to study abroad next year.  I don't know if I can get my ducks all in a row, but if I do, I'm leaving.  I have nothing more to offer Rice, I think.  Rice has little left to offer me, maybe.  Two problems, though.  My family, obviously.  Don't know how well I'd be able to live without seeing them pretty much whenever I want.  Med school.  I've have to do all sorts of interviews, and applications would be, uh, interesting.  I don't know.  Do I really want to have to deal with any of that while away?  No, probably not.  Edit: I talked with someone at Sunday Supper (now that I'm obviously back in Houston) about their experience in med school, and before, when I was like 'ugh, idk, pre-meds disgust me sometimes' I sorta really thought I didn't want to do it.  I think talking with this person changed my mind. =) /edit.  Anyway, I have an appointment to meet with the Study Abroad folk on Wednesday to talk about if I have the ability to leave Rice. funfun.

 

j.cruz

Ten Great Things

1. clicking many many blog tags
2. new MOBsters
3. full student centers
4. remembering how to play flute
5. two awesome roommates
6. new friends
7. special nicknames aka mancakes
8. the entire CSA leadership team
9. God's love :)
10. Jessica Rules (now up to 102... jk)

And it begins...

Only because I know mf *really* wants me to update my blog.

Not even technically part of the school year, O-Week continues to be the most stressful week of my school year.  Seriously, I need a break between O-Week and the start of school, and, no, the weekend doesn't cut it.  And even though I love complaining, I won't continue in that vein because I actually enjoy feeling useful and purposeful (aka busy, but not with busywork).

I spent the first part of the week with the MOB, cleaning, organizing, playing Spider Solitaire (I'm not gonna lie, that was a bit of fun).  I have this great picture of John Cate in his plastic parachute pants.  Excellent.

CSA occupied the second half of my O-Week.  I'm just really glad that the leadership team did so much during the summer.  I don't think we'd have been half as productive if they hadn't. 

The first annual CSA Olympics were fun as well.  TK and I thought up some clever sports.  Events included the Garbage Toss (worth 18 points total), Pin the Hat on the Pope (ranked by proximity to target aka Pope's forehead), and the Airstrip (design of paper airplane 1 pt, hoops 2 pts, perfect landing 2 pts).  I'll eventually put pictures of the Olympians on effBook.

Saturday, my day to sleep in, move-in day at the university, Outreach day, official dry-to-wet changeover (aka Dis-O), I woke up at seven and a half in the morning.  Honestly, Mr Sunshine, you don't have to shine so sweetly all the time.  Geez.  I met with the Epilepsy Foundation's Youth Council that night and went back to campus to chill with my latest friendship acquisition (aka B-Don of the Tuxedo Speedos) and my other exceedingly cool friends, Robert, mf, Candase, "the Tower guys," etc.  I also got to practice some abstract thing called "self-discipline."  I don't know what all the fuss is surrounding the concept.  Really.

Sunday, the day to see whether the CSA's hard work had paid off, wowed us.  A beautifully large number of freshmen came to worship with us!  Excitement = Jessica!  Sunday Supper: HUGE success.  Leadership meeting: fabulous.  All-in-all, a great day to celebrate my faith, the faith of the Church.  Admittedly, I wasn't able to get the listserv out before 9 P.M., but I think my excuses and lack of real reason make up for it.

And then, of course, today was the first day of school, and the first MOB rehearsal of the year.  I'm super excited about my crazy Chinese teacher, my excitable Spanish teacher, my energized Ling prof, and the widely-acclaimed CAAM 210 prof.

THREE MORE FLUTES (two WR, one Jones)!  AN OBOE/PERCUSSIONIST (Brown?)!  HOORAY MOB!  I didn't scare anyone off!  I even remembered to suggest the Windows start-up theme to Chuck as a tag (thanks to Robert:]).  I love dancing to Louie. :):):)

...

I'm going into one of my more unreasonable moods, I think.  Staying by myself for long periods of time will probably result in uncontrollable tears.  :/

But don't take me all to seriously.  I'm slightly crazy.

:::

And I made a new Jessica Rule: I am not permitted to talk extensively with people who have not been expressly recommended to meet me.  I sort of weird out people.  Sort of. Usually.  Occasionally.  Yeah.

 

goodnight.  I plan on having a cacophony tomorrow.  Sorry if I totally confuse you.

--j.cruz

(Ranchero) Enchilada Sauce

• flour (cornstarch, if no flour)
• shortening
• vegetable oil
• diced onions
• diced tomatos
• a can of diced tomatos
• water
• ground garlic
• comino (spice)
• salt
• pepper

 

In a skillet, brown the flour.  Add enough shortening to ensure that the flour doesn't clump.  If you don't have the flour, do NOT brown the cornstarch.  Set this aside.

Fry the onions and tomatos (not from the can) in a little bit of vegetable oil.  Add the can of diced tomatos and water.  Stir, then rain the garlic and comino onto the sauce and mix completely.  Do not skimp on the garlic or comino. When I say rain, I am not referring to a light drizzle or a friendly sprinkle.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Allow the sauce to simmer for some t > 5mins (for the inner nerd).

The absolute last thing to add to the sauce (as in right before you pour it on the enchiladas and whatnot) is the browned flour (or unbrowned cornstarch) to thicken the watery sauce.  YeeHaw! (I can't believe I'm going to let that slide. tsk tsk.)

Note: There are no precise measurements because that's not how my fam rolls.  Just be reasonable.

...

mf, I know.  I could've asked a long time ago and had it posted for your use, etc. 

But now we have it, and that's all that matters.

Perfection, in a Trashcan

So, I had this awkward no-call date thing happen a few days ago.  Turns out the guy misplaced my number, so no foul, BUT while I was waiting I decided it would be best if I got something to eat.  I stopped by one of my usual joints, a Chinese restaurant called Asian Garden.  I mean, I didn't know how long I would be waiting, if I'd be able to eat a decent meal before the movie began, whatever. I dropped by to get something to eat and I just happened to meet some really cool people.

Piano man!  When I walked in, he was talking with the cashier, laughing, joking, all in good fun.  :)  I joined in, because you know me, I can't ever decide on what I want quickly.  Somehow, some way, it came out that I go to Rice, that I don't *really* pay for it, and that Rice, actually, true fact, isn't an Ivy League school.  hmmmm.   So piano man sort of freaks out, right?, "Oh really?  You go to Rice?  Rice University?  In Houston?  Well that's good for you.  I'll bet you go to the beach often."  We, the cashier and I, had to convince him that Houston isn't actually near a beach.  haha, He thought that the beach was, like, a 10 minute drive from downtown?  Anyway, turns out that he'll be going to UH for grad school, which is kinda cool when you think about it because we had this weird connection, and I don't usually talk to people I don't know.  Thanks Wasabi :P for an interesting night.

Cashier!  I liked the cashier.  She was nice and friendly, and she looked oddly familiar.  We got to talking after Wasabi left, and, apparently, she went to junior high and the first year of high school with me and came back to San Marcos (and to Texas State) for college.  Coincidence?  Definitely.  We know so many people in common, and we had different stories to tell, it was great.  We just talked.  I like friendly people.  Thanks Breanna for talking! :D

Delivery boy!  I'm sorta glad that Asian Garden wasn't too busy that night because I wouldn't have met the delivery boy.  He also looked familiar to me, but I have, um, difficulties distinguishing between Dennis Quaid and Harrison Ford, so no big surprise there.  Our conversation flow chart: apartment design > our society's need for efficiency, speed, perfection > lack of perfection in the world > the price(lessness) of perfection > trashcans.  If you lost that flow somewhere, it's okay, my conversations usually derail into other, cruder, topics.  Anyway, Mr. Civil Engineer wants to improve the world one trashcan at a time.  I'm going to let him do that-  I think most trashcans are perfect, in that they serve their main function quite well.  He's looking for ways to improve functionality while maintaining a certain standard of trash, I think.  He remarked on the recycability of most 'trash,' so I'm guessing that's something he'll be working on.  Thank you Mr. Civil Engineer for keeping me intellectually stimulated.  Kinda. :)

No-call dates are fun, you know.  I don't think I've ever had so much fun while being stood up. Note:  While this is the only time I've been stood up, it really couldn't have been any more interesting.

...

I got my directory from Camp Spike 'n' Wave.  Super exciting news, right?  I know.  I think I'll send picture books to my campers.  :)  (I've even got their birthdays!!)

I made a fish bowl.  I've decided that I'm not responsible to care for another living entity, and I'll put money on any fish of mine dying within a week.  My father helped me to finish my mosaic tabletop.   I'll probably put up pictures showcasing my two accomplishments.  I know everyone is dying to see them.  Hopefully I'll have the design for my back pack completed soon, and I will be able to employ some cheap labor to assemble it for me. ;)

Man, I've been having some weird dreams lately.  Some are really cool.  There was one that reminded me of Crash or Vantage Point- I had a dream, but I relived the dream twice, as a different character both times, which was really useful because I could use the knowledge gained in the first round to complete my goals in the second.  I guess it kinda sounds like a bad video game. hmmmm.

:::

If you should receive a short, out-of-context question from me, I'm in one of those moods.  It'd be cool if you answered.

Tomorrow I have plans to see the love of my life with Janelle.  I'm excited. :)

 

Happy anniversary parents!

 

--jcruz.

Good Evening!

I don't know who you are, and I'm supposing no one really does.  We all have our guesses, but you've learned the true ninja way, and kept hidden your true name and identity for many years.  Too many years-- certainly you know where to find the fountain of youth or how to mix the elixir of life, and yet you keep your silence.

Maybe you do this for our benefit.  By the number of wise and pithy statements, poems, literary works, etc. quoted through your pseudonym, one must assume that you know the value of words wisely chosen.  Then, if you choose not to speak out, it can only be concluded that you are protecting us.  Silence is golden, after all.

However, with your knowledge of what is best for us, which is to say that we mustn't assume things, that assumption might not be true.  You may not be protecting us at all, and mother may not know best (Note: Common Sense agrees that mother knows best, which means we either have a conspiracy or it's true).

What a horrible inconsistency!  You know, you could take a note or two from God about keeping His Word straight.  I happen to know from an inside source that He can be touchy when He's misquoted or His Word is misused.  But I suppose you wouldn't believe all that you hear through the grapevine, huh?

Anyway, it's your inconsistency that bothers me the most.  You, with your 'wisdom', think you're all that and a bag of Mrs Vicks' delightfully addicting Salt and Vinegar potato chips, never wrong and humble besides!  You think that I don't see right through that whole pseudonym business?  You're just insecure about who people view you as.  So much for being accepted for who you are; I don't even know you!

You know, I don't think I would've paid you much mind, but you're always in my business.  Leaving trash on the ground in the park, checking out my favorite books, taking all the ATM money, and buying all the drinks in the vending machines.  What is the deal with sending out all of these bomb threats?  Honestly.  Get with the times, that is SO 90's.  ANDI wouldn't be nearly as obsessive about the things I obsess about (which is nearly everything these days) if you weren't so adamant about keeping your identity secret.  Another thing to obsess about, geez!

I guess you can see where this headed, and I'm sorry I had to make this public.

Anonymous, our acquaintanceship is finished!

...

A little much on the drama there, Jess.  I'd watch that if I were you.

Duly noted.

I would say that I don't wonder about the various anonymous comments I (have received) receive on my (past) blog(s), but I'd be lying.  It's actually one of the reasons I don't like Facebook apps that allow for people to anonymously address me.  I don't like guessing games (because I suck at them), and although the majority of the anonymous comments I've received through my blogs, past and present, weren't specifically addressed to me, I always obsess about who it is.

I guess it doesn't matter.

:::

Mark and I went to see Wall-E today.  I love that film.

Movies We (= me and one other sibling) Can't Wait to See:

• The Dark Knight
• HSM 3: Senior Year
• Mummy 3
• Inkheart

I know there's others, but I can't remember them now.  oh well.

I'm getting frustrated with Wal-Mart customers. *glares at the thought*

 

goodnight.

Six Good Things

1. next generation Samarripas
2. sister-sister bonding with nail polish
3. paychecks!
4. polka dots
5. energizers
6. peanut butter crunch

I Just Gotta Say

First off, I'm going to apologize for grammar errors throughout the entirety of this post.  Second, I really don't have any excuse for making said errors, and I will readily admit that I am far too lazy to undo any cliche items, run-on sentences, and interrupted thought.  Should probably read it as a 'stream of consciousness' piece, and try to understand that this is pretty much how my brain and I think.  Sorry.

So, I'm not going to point out anyone, or something else ridiculous like that, and say that I really sorta want to Facebook friend them, just to see their profile- wall posts, interests, favorite music, you know, all the stuff that really defines someone as someone because I can hardly believe that this undefined entity is a person.  But I will.

Name isn't all that important, no, not hardly at all.  I don't know why I suddenly had this urge to Facebook friend them- we didn't speak to each other in high school, and although I'm sure he's fabulously intelligent, he didn't really treat me with much respect, which isn't what wise people do because wise people treat everyone with respect or at least the outward appearance of it.  whatev.

In fact, it just occurred to me that if we were to pass on the street or meet at a reunion, my thought would be, 'oh please oh please don't talk to me walk the other way please yes! talk to that other dude,' while his would be, 'i went to school with her?'

But oh how my curiosity yearns to be relieved!  I see little snippets of his life, through the wall posts on the 29 mutual friends we have.  29!  and some of them I wonder how he even knows or if he really remembers them or just fakes it.  i wonder if he'd accept my friend request or if I would accept his should it ever be offered, and I somehow know that neither one is possible.  Like at all. 

AND I hate how it bothers me because I'll probably dream about it, then at work tomorrow I'll have nine UNINTERRUPTED hours to think about it, only my thoughts will revolve around him and these little things I remember from high school, obsessing over it them him because my mind gets so little stimulation from the menial tasks I'm assigned to complete *deep breath* and then I'll come back and have nothing to blog about because I've literally thought only of him and Facebook since I've written this.  hopefully i won't end up crazed.

ah, too late.

...

Today I had a thought.  haha, okay maybe it was two!  Got me there!  (okay, wow, I probably need sleep.)  A response to Alex's anti-WR sentiments, posted for a select few to read: IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO BEGIN TO SHOW ONE'S TRUE COLORS.  IT IS ALWAYS TIME FOR THE GODS AND THE GODDESSES TO RULE.  IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO CHEER ON WHAT FATE HAS RIGHTFULLY DECIDED IS YOURS.  IT IS ALWAYS TIME FOR THE PHOENIX TO FLY.  IT IS NEVER TOO EARLY TO UPHOLD THE ONLY THREE VALUES THAT KEEP THE EARTH SPINNING. MYTHPOWERVALUE.  AND IT IS ALWAYS TIME FOR WILL RICE (and it is never time for jones- not even worth capitalizing- or any of the lesser colleges and residences)!

Happy Alex?  I certainly hope so, and I hope that my response was adequate for your fine tastes. :P

:::

Fam and I went to a party for my cousin today.  He's just finished his army training, and he'll be stationed somewhere within a week.  About 8 families showed up, which for a hispanic family like mine means that there was about a million people there.  It was odd, you know, seeing how many generations were there, how people are related and how they relate to each other.

I'm not just talking about within families-- some family friends showed up and made themselves comfortable within our network.  I got to catch up with an old high school friend (hey girl!) and see people I don't often get to see (can you tell I forgot what I was writing half way through that sentence?)

 

Anyway, sorry, again, for not making any sense or for making sense (which means you've either spent too much time with me or too much time studying me-- either way, please stop the punishment already).

 

j.cruz

walmart activities.

During my first two weeks Wal-Mart, I've learned a few things:

1. I am addicted to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, whether they are miniature, regular, big cup, on sale or not.  Now that is ridiculous.  Two weeks ago I had my mother buy me a bag.  Since then I've bought three more.  It's worse than crack because I can buy the stuff, legally, ANYWHERE.  You may think, "It's not that bad.  It's not like the candy is too expensive."  WRONG!  For a poor college student who only just recently got a job, the candies are horribly expensive.  But they are delicious. Yum.
2. I can spend less than $3 on any meal.  True fact.  Wal-Mart really does have some fantastic deals.
3. Cars' headlights attract and hold my attention for a very long time.  It's kinda odd, but when I drive home at night, I have to stare at the lights coming at me until they pass my window.  They fascinate me, especially when the car is behind a hill, and I can slowly begin to see the car's headlights, until the lights suddenly explode into view, much like a highway car-rise.  Sweet.
4. I can sleep with half of my brain, like a dolphin, and I do it at work.  Okay, so I don't sleep with half of my brain, but I'm pretty sure parts of my brain go to sleep and the other parts work overtime or something because I have some weird thoughts while I'm working (for example, I was making up excuses the banana has for having three parts).  It's like my frontal lobe just disappears. Anyway, the work isn't very demanding, brain-wise, so while my hands act as an entire line assembly, my mind goes elsewhere, I think.
5. I'm going to add almond extract to everything I consume.  Possibly my favorite smell/taste, up there with cherry, pineapple, ginger, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Eighteen (+10) Good Things

1. a list of 10 things I can't remember
2. +1 Nerd Points
3. the dark knight is coming...
4. buying cheap food at wal-mart
5. somehow driving 30 miles to home with the tank light on
6. mad skillz in learning new skillz
7. sitting
8. awesome old fashioned dressers
9. painting
10. not killing plants
11. having the material to make my backpack
12. donating plasma for the cash money
13. having cash money
14. being able to afford gas
15. cameras!
16. fanastic Goodwill shopping
17. RAIN.
18. the looks the people at HEB give you when they know you work at wal-mart
19. :D

10 Good Things

1. Animal House
2. working a $8.20/hr job
3. saving electricity
4. mint chocolate chip ice cream
5. Gregorian chant
6. 100 Essential Classical Pieces for $5.99
7. not being addicted to Facebook
8. being addicted to webcomics
9. taking pictures
10. having a sister moment :)

How Do You Make Holy Water?

I went with my mother, her brother, and her brother's wife to see Joel Osteen speak in San Antonio on Sunday.  He is quite the preacher, and I understand why so many people listen to him, read his books, and support his ministries.  I, for one, truly believe that he is fulfilling God's mission for him, to bring people closer to God.  Too bad he ain't Catholic. ;)

He mentioned a few things that I was thinking about before we went to see him, about avoiding unnecessary fights, not obsessively thinking about the future, etc.  idk, It sort of meant something to me.

...

I was talking with my brother a week ago about future technology.  He said that writers had failed us because they'd predicted that we'd have flying cars, teleportation, better food, blah blah blah.  I don't know that they did fail us.

Sure, the majority of us still drive cars based on designs introduced in the early 1900s, and we may not be able to change locations instantly.  We don't know how to 'make' gravity, and we still don't have the elixir of life.

Who cares?  If you do, well, we may not have those things, but we have, or are getting the knowledge to obtain, things that begin to approximate those things.  I, however, believe that 'future' technology began a while back, that, in the immediate future, we will have technology better--no, more-- than what the writers predicted, and that we, as a species, will have insights like the writers never had, i.e. technology different than what they could have expected. 

Instant communication over large distances, relatively easy travel, amassing of world knowledge, Tivo, arguably better food, better medicines, stupid computers, extensive education, manipulation of gravity: If only these things followed the process of diffusion, then everyone, the world over, could have a chance to see how much we've done.

I know that there are people out there who agree with me; I just sort of wrote this without researching any of my fellow believers, my bad.  They probably wrote more eloquently, with depth, and had fine examples pulled from stories and research.  whatev. :P

:::

So, like, a week ago, I got to care for my godchild and her sister.  Now, I'm not going to say that they're monsters, but I will say that they are aged 3 and 2 years (my godchild is the younger and quieter child).  It was an experience that makes me very happy that I don't plan on having sex until I'm married.  I seriously doubt that I, the 'Best Future Mother', would be able to handle raising kids for a while, at least 5 years, and that estimate is assuming I wouldn't be single or widowed.

I'm not saying that my cousin isn't doing a good job, but her mother puts plenty of work into helping her and I just know that I'd have no chance of giving that much care to any child of mine at this point in my life.  I'd almost admire her, except I don't much approve of premartial sex. :/

Anyway, I realized that it's been awhile since the last time I actually wrote something substantial. My bad.

Edit: I forgot to give the answer to the question in the title: you boil the hell out of it. :P

j.cruz

For a Good Laugh

• 2 Samarrippa family members
• a food-free Sonic
• inattentive waitstaff
• fellow customers (optional)

Drive the family into the Sonic above.  Place an order (which the Sonic will be unable to supply), and slowly add waitstaff (one at a time) to mix.  Some care must be taken to ensure one's health is secure (not talking is strongly recommended), but you must let family and waitstaff sit in Sonic for about ten minutes. Once waitstaff and family have completed their interaction, one can add fellow customers to the Sonic.  If customers are added too quickly, waitstaff will explode then disappear, and dish must be started again. 

**Note: This dish is served immediately, often with a side of full refund.**

True story.  Sonic ran out of food, my mom and uncle got upset, we got a refund and free food, the carhop kept my tip.

For a Softener

• 1/2 lime or lemon
• palmful of sugar or salt

Mix the two ingredients in hands.  Apply mixture to any rough skin, and rub thoroughly.  Rinse.

**Note: The lime-sugar mix tastes excellent. :P **

This recipe for a hand softener does work.  My mother thinks it makes her hands look years younger, but I just think that that's the lotion she's been using.

;aslkdfj. No, really. :)

I LOVED CAMP.

I MISS IT.

I WANT TO GO BACK.

I can't put up pictures (well, any more than I put up on Facebook), but if you ask me, I can show you the girls of Cabin 6 and Camp for All.  I have stories and tall tales and t-shirts and fantastic memories and dances and a tan and drawings and oh so much.

...

American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention

A very important site if you wish to be prepared for the next outbreak.  I recommend that everyone reads up on how to protect themselves and their loved ones before it is too late.

:::

I would just like to suggest that someone whose last name begins with a 'k' propose to me.  I think I'd like to have the initials JK.  The succession of JK from J.Cruz is logical and convenient.

Let it be known that I totally brought 'aMAZing' into fashion.

I miss Robert.

 

Like Trix, camp is for kids, not silly rabbits.  Just a thought.

-j.cruz

Oh Wow, Is It Hot Or What?

A giant spider tried to kill me yesterday.  Not even kidding.  It sat there on the door between the hallway and the living room, glaring at me with its eight eyes from its outrageously sized body (it was the size of one of my big toes), and then it attacked.

It jumped toward me, into the hallway, encroaching on my personal space (which I was sort of particular to at the time).  I'm not going to lie.  I screamed, the only time I can remember screaming because I was frightened.  I thought myself a fool afterwards; I'm not scared of spiders or most insects.  Sometimes they make me uncomfortable, nervous, and/or jittery, but they don't set my heart racing or cause me to faint.  I almost fainted yesterday.

So maybe I provoked it.  Whatev.  I might have sprayed it with Raid's Home Defense Max while it sat innocently on the door.  It might have run away from the spray, and I might have then tried to smash it with a broom when it leapt out of harm's way.  I might have tried to pound it flat with the broom as it tried to escape, and I might have finally smashed it against the floor molding and drowned it in the deadly spray.  Because it kept getting closer to me with each direct hit, I was lead to two conclusions.  One, it was out to get me, and two, spiders have, like, eight lives, one for each eye or something.

Then tonight, at dinner, one of the spider's sisters tried killing me.  I know this because she was brown and had the same black markings on her back.  She sort of just fell from the ceiling, all spider secret agent like, and landed on my arm.  I should've expected some sort of death threat, one can't just go around killing family and such.  Luckily for me, they sent an inexperienced killer, and I was able to deter her without any harm or fatalities.

...

Apparently the only way I'm going to earn money this summer is by donating my plasma.  At least, it will be until they tell me my plasma is horribly deformed and of no use to them or anyone, except me.

I'm only mostly kidding-- my plasma should be fine.  It's my glorious red blood cells that are ugly. 

I wonder which of my siblings are also affected by sickle cell trait.  I mean, each one has a 25% chance of having the trait.  I also wonder what their blood types are; probably O+, like me. 

School year ends on Thursday for them, and then they'll be home with me all day long. All. Day.  Long.  I don't even know how that's going to be.  Everyone gets irritated so easily when it's so hot outside, and, believe me, it's hot outside.  Ach-Oh-Tee. 

:::

My training for Camp Spike 'N Wave is this weekend.  The camp is June 15-21 (I'm going to miss Father's Day :'[ ).  I don't want to say that I'm freaking out, but I am definitely psyched.  I don't think that I've ever done anything like it before, and it makes me happy.

Oh dear.  The community television station for San Marcos is playing that song "Bicycle" by Queen.  I don't think that I've ever liked that song.  Ever.  I still don't.

 

Laterz,

j.cruz

Six Things That Keep Me Sane

1. new CSA website
2. verbal vomit
3. LifeMates
4. possible movie marathons
5. A&E
6. Spike TV

Today's Reading is... Unspoken.

I'm ill at ease.  That's it.  I've figured it out.  I'm no longer content here, doing nothing.  I want to be somebody to somebody.  Not in a romantic sense, because that's too far out there for me.  I want to be who I can be, not someone who is forced to be.  It's just so... ugh for me.  mmmStiles and I coined a term for it, Limbo on Earth.  I miss you mmmStiles.  (Come home to me, plz? kthxbai.) 

I really need a job, to feel productive.  I love school because I am productive during the school year.  I advance my knowledge; I scurry along to my ultimate educational goal; I talk, interact, learn, grow, explore, and fly free.  When I was younger, my friends always thought I was so odd because I loved being in school.  It wasn't that I hated, disliked, or was somehow adverse to summer because I loved summer.  I'm beginning to think, however, that I liked summer because it not only provided change, but also heralded it.  Sure, summer serves the same purpose now, but I'm different now.  It is not good enough anymore to be care-free.

Sometimes I think I think too much about the future.  My mother read an article in the newspaper about life in 2012.  The article described people fighting for food, struggling to survive.  A person interviewed for the article explained how their family was learning how to live as their grandparents did, raising their own food, making their own soap, etc.  idk, it seems like a lot to me, and I'd be in my mid-20s.  In 2012, I'd be in my second/third year as a medical student (God willing).  The oldest of my siblings will have been out of high school for a year, the next will be graduating, the other two in high school.  Our lives, the lives of my siblings and I, could be difficult.  I'm not complaining (as difficult as that is to believe).  I think we, not just me and my siblings, we-- US citizens, whatever-- are easy.  My life has been given to me, handed over, beautifully wrapped, and I think I'm wasting it. 

I don't know that I'm making much sense, so I'd rather not waste more time or energy into a possibly confusing ramble.

...

I made a morning wake up CD.  I'd like to share its song list with you because I'm sure you'd appreciate the thought I put into song choice and track order. :)

1. Circle of Life -- Lion King soundtrack
2. Shout, parts 1 & 2 -- The Isley Brothers
3. Don -- Miranda
4. Back in Black -- AC/DC
5. Don't Stop Me Now -- Queen
6. Life Is A Highway -- Rascal Flatts
7. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing -- Leo Sayer
8. Everything -- Michael Buble
9. Knock 'Em Out -- Lily Allen
10. Don't Stop Believin' -- Journey
11. Africa -- Toto
12. Feeling Good -- Michael Buble
13. Lonely Teardrops -- Jackie Wilson
14. Smack That -- Akon ft. Eminem
15. Could It Be I'm Falling in Love -- The Spinners
16. Always the Last to Know -- Del Amitri
17. You Keep Me Hanging On -- Diana Ross & the Supremes

If you have the songs, you should try it out.  I think it works wonders for my morale in the morning.  I had to do some small edits to make the CD exactly an hour long (that's how long my alarm goes off in the morning), but I think it was well worth the effort. :)

:::

I think my dad is back from the Spurs v. Lakers game. Spurs lost, most unfortunate for those Texans who think.  I don't know if they are out completely, but I do know that I am *upset* because I am from Texas and I live near SA and my father's family is from SA and I, therefore, am obligated to support the Spurs as my team.  And we lost because some upstarts think that they are it.  Whatever.  They need to think again. 

Geez.

 

oh, and charity starts at home.

--j.cruz

five good things

1. "Que Me Lleven Canciones"
2. daily Mass readings
3. Sarah Connor
4. tea
5. random txt msgs

Love

The Art of Courtly Love

 

I love reading the rules of attraction.  So many books, movies, pieces of artwork, poetry, food dedicated to the so-called rules of love.   No one has them, it, whatev, right, of course.  Hitch, for example, is a movie based on some guy who thinks he has the rules of dating and attraction down.  Not to spoil the movie, but he realizes that there are no rules.  "All is fair in love and war."  Truer words have probably been spoken, but I haven't heard them yet.

I don't know what I'm writing about.

...

I've had these weird dreams since I moved back home.  They're not bad dreams, just they seem to revolve around this dude.  I'm kinda annoyed actually.  I mean, I wouldn't mind dreaming about him because he's a pretty cool guy. 

I don't really know him.

He doesn't do anything in my dreams.  He sits or stands there, watching me and whoever else do whatever we're doing.  He doesn't interact with the other characters in my dreams.  If my dreams were credited, I don't even know that he'd be written in.  But he doesn't act as a walk-on, I'm sure he's paid.

I just wish I knew why my dreams are obsessing over this guy because I'm beginning to think about him while awake, and it is horribly irritating.  *sigh*

:::

I love the new house.  It is old-ish and needs plenty of work, but, for once, we have a house that is large enough to house all of us somewhat comfortably. :)

Los padres me compran una nueva cama.  It is of the early 1900s and came with some fancy bed coverings and pillowcasings.  I like it.

 

j.cruz

Seven Fantabulous Things

1. Opening old backpacks
2. unpacking boxes from senior year
3. getting a new desk
4. finding a job
5. small towns
6. working bicycles
7. making cards and other small gifts

What a Trip!

Guys.

I *just* realized how weird I am.  Like, I thought I understood at least some of it before, but no, actually I was wrong.  You probably were too.  One, I keep the weirdest crap, EVER.  Oh, and I'm glad I did because I wouldn't have had such an aWkWard memory trip to senior year of high school.  I'm really sorta surprised I wasn't on crack or doing weed because I was into some odd stuff, let me tell you.

And you know, it's funny.  I was thinking the other day that I wasn't too nerdy in high school, compared to now.  I had my quirks, duh, but they were all well within the range of normal.  WRONG.  Yeah, sure, now I have this 'geeky'-nerdy thing going-- pretending to understand tech stuff, actually understanding math/computer/gaming jokes, making quasi-intelligent conversations about psychology BS, etc.  But in high school, man, I watched people being pantsed in front on me (aWkWard experience).  I organized people.  I wrote notes to people on Starbursts wrappers.  I kept little plastic bands from different school events, and I can remember feeling very sad that I'd lost two.  I hoarded stickers, esp. shiny star stickers, then passed them out to band members on Friday mornings.  I HAVE AN ARTISTIC MASTERPIECE DRAWN ON ONE OF MY JAZZ PIECES.  I stole a packet with the lyrics to various Spanish songs on it (thank you Sr. Pratt-- you were terrific!).  I don't know if I can really explain the experience...

And yet, I was so involved in band, I don't think I realized how cool other people were.  I was so involved with myself and my issues, I didn't collect more stuff than I did.  [I wonder if I still do that...  Probably. :( ] I can't remember telling people how awesome I thought they were, something I try to do now, and I knew some awesome people.  In fact, I found a note from Josh.  It mentions the first time we met (which I, of course, can't remember), and why he valued me as a friend. 

I haven't spoken to him in ages [a year = ages in Jessica-time].

I'm glad that now I know and can remember the first time I met my friends and acquaintances at Rice.  It was a running joke in HS that my memory sucked [it didn't, btw.  I think my memory was better in HS in many respects, just not for first meetings].

I wish I were more eloquent, so that I could fully convey the experience of reliving memories from >2 years ago.  I wish I show you how it felt to find my HS ring and remember almost losing it at a park.  *sigh*  I guess you'll have your own experience.

...

As promised, the story of that crazy dude on the road.  I'm going to re-tell it as my brother re-told it because he does a better job with the story than I ever could.

Hey, you there?  Walter [fam friend]?  Yeah, man, it was awesome.  We got to witness a police chase. ... No, really! yeah, there were three or four cars chasing this dude.  I think COPS might have been recording it, or something, it was that good.  Yeah, so we were coming back from H-town, Jess was driving, and Mom was behind her.  And we passed a popo, right?  Well, Mom's car passes the popo and his lights turn on, and Jess starts freaking out cuz she thinks he's after her [this is actually an embellishment- I was NOT freaking out, my brother was].  Well, she keeps on going, okay?  And then, this white car, OUT OF NOWHERE, cuts in front of us, and we see things start flying out it! ... No, I'm not lying!  He threw out, like, four, five bottles.  the bottles broke, and something flew out and hit Jessica's windshield.  One of the bottles still had liquor in it, man, cuz it was spraying everywhere. ... Yeah, I know, what a waste!  But no, listen, you're not listening, then the guy threw out a package of pot. ... I know!  I tried convincing them to go back and pick it up.  We couldn't just stop, the police was there.  You don't think that would've been suspicious?  'Course you don't, you're white. 'Kay, talk to you later.

Yes, actually.  That was the entire conversation.  Except that my mother added that she'd also suggested that we go back to pick up the pot.  Ridiculous.

Some chick in Austin was selling pot brownies.  I know because every news show reported it twice in their news reports.  Some kid she sold one to got sick, and that's how she was caught.  Silly girl.

:::

I applied to work at the Best Western in Lockhart today.  I'm excited.  I really want the job.  As we were eating dinner, Walter suggested that I work at this surgery-emergency-medical something or other as an intern during the summer.  Apparently he's got connections, so I should done with the application process pretty soon here. I wouldn't mind working at the place; I've got bills to pay.

I got my dad to fix two of the bikes.  I've had this urge to go out and ride somewhere.  I don't know why.  I haven't ridden a bike in >>ages.  He did it though, and now I have my choice of two very functional bikes.  I think I'll go find a lake or a river or something tomorrow.  It'll be fun.

 

Alright kids.  It's past time to go to sleep.

--j.cruz

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

 

That's all.

--J.Cruz

P.S.  Mexicans celebrate 16 de septiembre more.  Silly Americans.

Home

yes.  finally.  my sister left her pink sweater in my (former) room, and I can't really go back to pick it up.  mother says she doesn't need it.

also, i have this great story from the drive back.  more on that later.

SIXTEEN Good Things

1. lyrical recitations on Walls
2. B.Wilder
3. Peter Gorilla
4. sombreros
5. crying in chapels
6. happy IMs
7. happy e-mails
8. Juanes
9. PDRs
10. Back to the Future & 'jigawatts'
11. Last day of classes
12. going home!
13. OC cast/crew
14. beaches
15. fotografias :)
16. Spanish poetry

an IM from a friend

simply stated, "you are amazing.  that is all."  And you know, I feel better.  I've been pretty down lately, yes.  I am only beginning to realize the magnitude of the icebergs under my water.  I think I can handle some of the work myself, but more and more I notice that I need small things, a voicemail from my family, an IM from a friend, little yellow flowers, to really get through other parts of it. 

Yeah, I have my friends, and, believe me, I know they help when they can, when they know I need it.  Now, I'm not depreciating the value of their friendship (because I couldn't live without them), but they can't fix my problems for me.  I have to see the solution, I have to want to get to it, I need to help myself. 

Just a thought.

...

I have an Orgo test tonight.  Exciting stuff, no?  I was really disappointed to find out that Keith's recital is in the middle of the test; I totally would've gone.  Some things just don't work out I guess. 

I heard he's going to Germany next year. :)  I'm sorta jealous, not gonna lie.  I think I want to go to Brazil.  Or Africa.  I feel like most people go to some place in Europe, which is totally cool and all, but just this side of overused?  Probably not.  Plenty of people want to visit Brazil, right?  It even has a song about it! 

:::

The Odd Couple is finished.  A work in progress since January is finally done!  It was a great run, and I really did enjoy it. Granted, it was a month-long extension of play-related stress, but it was worth it, I think, and I feel that we had a great group of people to work with.  idk, for the people, I don't want it to end.  I suppose that's how friends are made.  Keeping them is a completely different civilization. ;)

And I do hope I keep the friendships.  Some will, somewhat inevitably, decline rapidly; others might last forever.  I won't know until forever comes (which, theologically, could happen at any moment), but I do know I shouldn't dwell on such thoughts. :)

 

Cada vez que te busca te vas, cada vez que te llamas no estas...

Es por eso que debo decir que tu solo en mis fotos estas...

-j.cruz

Facebook | The Odd Couple: Opening Night!

I know you're excited.  I am. :):):):):):):):):)

Facebook | The Odd Couple: Opening Night!

Sunshine

I love sitting out in the sun.  Vitamin D is such a wonderful feeling.  Lately it seems as though I haven't had enough time to enjoy little things, like the sun or the breeze or crunchy gravel or sweet red cherries.  You know, the things that really matter.

In fact, it seems as though I don't have time for anything.  I mean, I do what needs doing, for the most part, but life (or Life) is more than doing what needs doing.  It should include deep friendships, cool rivers, huge trees, good food, sitting in the sun, feeling the wind, talking up a storm, listening to the silence, soft tissues, fun problems, learning, play time, dancing, working hard and concentrating...

I've tried to balance myself this year, but more and more I realize that I am full of hills, mountains, valleys, and canyons.  Sometimes the change is sudden and nearly frightful.  Other times, I feel like I'm cruising on a gradual slope.  I don't know.

...

I had a talk with God today.  We made small talk to begin, but I had a few things on which I needed His honest opinion.  I don't usually have a difficult time listening; it's usually more difficult to understand the hows and whys.  I think I have my answers, now, but it doesn't make it any easier.  Mostly because I'm so stubborn.  Partly because I've no self-discipline anymore.  Slightly because I make excuses for everything.

No, please don't think that I'm sad or depressed.  I know what I need to fix, which is infinitely better than before, so I'm, actually, content.

:::

I don't want to watch Life through a window.  I don't want to take someone's word about the wind or the sun or the rain, but I don't want to lose sight of who I am and who I want to be. 

I want to sit in the sunshine and smile.

 

-j.cruz

(:

Backward smilies are awk-ward. I know you agree with me. They, like, try to fool you about being sad, but not really. idk. I guess I put too much thought into the backward smiley. I mean, I have a smiley poster and it is called the 'left-handed smiley'. Honestly. Emoticons, I'm fairly certain, are free from the confines of handedness.

Just a thought.

-j.cruz

Six Good Things

1. SAS show
2. full runthroughs
3. friends :)
4. ko1, because he's going to read it. :P
5. mmm, fuzzy yarn
6. your mom

THOUGHT!

I've told some people about this, to mixed reactions. I want a small gorilla. I'm aiming for something infant sized.

It would be more practical than a dog (opposable thumbs are the shiznit!), although messier than a cat. I could teach it sign language, like Amy from Congo, and we could have somewhat unintelligible conversations. I think it'd be cool. I thought infant sized would be best, if only because it could attach itself to my neck, and it wouldn't be too much weight.

For example:



Cheap would be fine, but it was to have long enough arms.

Hmmmm.

-j.cruz

Thinking

Thank you to Marcos, Bobby, Mom, and, especially, Robert and Caroline.

Marcos, you may never read this, but your voicemail this morning was so... ugh, I can't even- it was indescribable. Thank you.

Bobby, you might read this, and thanks for listening to me about my many issues. They are, well, innumerable.

Mom, I know you will never read this, but I thought I'd let you know that you were right. of course. People shouldn't use me, and I shouldn't use other people.

Robert and Caroline. I don't even know if I can separate the two of you. Both of you are so encouraging, so supportive, so reasonable it nearly kills me. This whole play ordeal... man. I think, really, the two of you kept me sane. I'm pretty sure I would've irrecoverably broken down if the two of you hadn't made me listen and think.

And, fyi, my 'thinking' and 'thanking' are nearly interchangeable. :)

Twelve Necessarily Great Things

1. http://www.youtube.com/v/Li5nMsXg1Lk
2. I have no idea if that link works, and I'm cool with it. :)
3. God.
4. Going home on Tuesday!
5. Play is almost done... play is almost done... play is almost done...
6. Zoos
7. Dance lessons :)
8. Dinner parties
9. best roommate, ever.
10. family and family-not-family.
11. FLUTING!
12. Finishing work before midnight (a fantastical feeling, I assure you)
    

I Can't Take It Anymore

No, really. Not to toot my own horn, but I consider myself to be a fairly patient person. I think that I can take a whole bunch of crap, then release my anger/upsetedness/etc into the wild. I think it takes a lot for me to get so worked up about something that I can't think straight. But now it's happened. In who knows how long, I'm actually really pissed off. Thoroughly peeved.

When you give someone a job, you let them do it. If they don't do the way you want them to, you should've given better instructions. Now, it is understandable to re-do what someone has done (or not done) if you gave explicit instructions, and they failed to follow them. BUT if that person followed your instructions to the t, and you don't like it, you have two options:

1. Tell them that you don't like it, and see what they can do to change it. It may be that you have absolutely NO idea about the problems that came up, and this was the absolute last resort. It could also be that you somehow implied that you effing wanted it that way. You won't know until you ask.
2. Deal with it. You gave them an assignment. (Re-)Doing their work only makes them feel used, unnecessary, and upset. If you change it, you will undermine who they are as a person.

Now, I know that I am guilty of this offense. I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE, but I've also apologized and tried to make up for it. I ALSO KNOW WHAT MY JOB IS, or at least what I've most recently been expected to do. WHEN I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO MY EFFING JOB, yes, actually, I get kinda upset. ("kinda" being a Jessica "kinda")

*sigh* Okay, so I have left and come back. I will not change my words. I am upset. I had a job, and my job, without warning, was taken away from me. I'd like to have it back.

kthxbai.

Ten Pretty Freakin' Awesome Things

Because I really need one.

1. Finding twenty dollars.
2. Having an awesome best friend as a proxy
3. "Shout, Parts 1 & 2" by the Isley Brothers
4. Having at least two best friends who are extremely happy
5. "**, yo."
6. cast friends. :):):)
7. Flute playing!!
8. Cleaning my room (I'm almost done!!)
9. Good listeners...
   
10. Having a list of good things :)
    

Spring Break

I've been on my 'Spring Break' for a few days now. Everyone else is still at work or in school, so I've been kinda lonely lately. 'Sokay though. I get to catch up on work (of which I know I'm not going to do any next week), organize and reorganize OC schedule, sleep. Still, I think I'd feel better about this Spring Break if I didn't feel like everything around me is at a standstill.

And I'm not talking about things physically halting (which would be aMAZing...). I know that when I go back to Houston and Rice, I'm going to feel like nothing has changed. Sure, we've just had a break from school. Everyone feels rested, accomplished, renewed. When we all get back, classes resume, work picks up, everything settles into place. But it feels the same. Nothing will be different.

I don't know whether it'll be because of the social dynamics, the political charges, my increasingly odd dreams, or what. Maybe I just feel like everything is moving, but nothing is changing. Maybe no one else sees it. I could be worrying too much about it, but I know that I'm not really 'worried' about it. It just makes me feel like I'm not really me. Inside. Everyone treats me the same, but I'm different.

It is an odd disconnect, I know. I had these weird feelings back in HS, and my eye started twitching. (Note: My eye probably starting twitching from the stress of AP testing.) I haven't had such a strong instance of the feeling since, idk, this time last year? Maybe it's a seasonal thing; AP testing is in the spring.

I just had a thought.

I will pray about this.

Psychology Lies

I've come to the conclusion that psychology is a lie. Complete fabrication. In fact, psychologists would call it 'confabulation' if they ever realized what was going on. They just make things up, I swear.

Point-in-case: if called on in class, one can make up some answer and cite an experiment that may or may not support the argument, and it will be right. Doesn't even matter if the experiment is completely irrelevant to the topic. Any one will do, as long as you 'prove' your point.

Don't misunderstand me; I am majoring in Cognitive Science (aka psychology with other things attached). I love psychology, the mind-brain dilemma, the Freudian philosophies, perception, memory, biopsychology, etc. LOVE IT. I just think that some (probably most) psychologists are nutcases and really good liars. Wrong word. They are really good at finding patterns that may or may not actually exist.

It may seem like I'm confused on this issue. Psychologists are a bunch of liars and I love it. Um, no. It's just that when I take a psychology test, and I make up some answer because I have no idea, and then get full marks for it... something is wrong.

-j.cruz

Six Good Things

1. Getting the Ace of diamonds (HECK YES!)
2. Knowing I'm probably going to stay on-campus (WOOHOO!)
3. Home (YEA!)
4. Spring Break... is so close...
5. Water.
6. Knowing I have Good Things to post. :)
   

Holding On

I am. Really.

I think I've got my priorities in order:

• Orgo lab
• Orgo test
• Physics hw

Now, I could be entirely wrong. (And I probably am.) But, hopefully, this will be okay. I think I can live if I turn in a hw late. I haven't done it yet... I should be able to do this.

Cheater!

I know, I know!

So, I took my good things post and totally ruined it by putting my Happiness column there, but I was looking through the list and I couldn't help but notice that everything that was on there made me happy. For obvious reasons.

Anyway, the worst of the week is over. I still have all of next week to get through, but I think I can manage. Maybe.

Spring Break, here I come!

308 Good Things!

Catholicism. MOB. Rice. Transformers. Procrastination. Podcasts. Atomic Warfare. Spanish Poetry. TMNT. Former Presidents. Abnormality. Movies. Fitzpatrick. Crazy Logic. Stargazing. Ocean Waves. Defend Your Computer. Limericks. Someone's Dreams. Facebook. Words. Ballet. Peppermint Lights. Heat. "Sonrisa" Nerdy Jokes. Victorian Poetry. Turtles. R. Kelly. Marshmallows. Singing in Church. Crying. Scarves. Paul Franklin Dano. Liars and Lying. "Parapetia" Phononeology. Sandra Bullock. Risk. Pictures. Blank Pages. Plants. Plaid. Dysfunction. Fictional Prima Donnas. IPA. Adventures. Baseball. One. Polka Dots. Bubble Bobble! Fish Face!. Disney Anything. Snowglobes. Bandaids. Emoness. L-O-V-E. Dove Chocolate. Crocheting. Mascara. Dynamic Duos. Willy Week Jacks. Prospies. Trivial Pursuit. Vivid Imagery. Finger Knitting. Binder Clips. Gaim. New Clothes. Being Called By Name. Ballworld. Flute Language. Sparkly Things. Nintendo Wii. Music. Family. Beauty. Pets. "Azul" Fish. Pokemon. Coloring. Beads. Psychology. Confabulation. Learning Unix. Jackets. Markers. Zero. Saxophones. Saxophonists. Oversized Earrings. New Shoes. Peanuts. Pretty Pictures. Rolling Down Hills. Julia Roberts. Water. "H" Books. Art. Drugs. Limited Editions. Ducks. Kris Kimura. Thunderstorms. LOLcats. Fake Photoshop. Home. Carpet. Small Things. Alexander the Great. Laughing. Libraries. Bookstores. Dusty Attics. Light. Cherries. "WHEEler" Hugh Grant. Transcribing Conversations. Coffee shops. Tea. Food. Corners. Names. Getting Mail (or E-Mail). People. Smelling. Deep Structure. Posters. Mental States. Song and Dance. Soapboxes. Mexicanness. Pogo.com. Questions. Weirdos. Life. Handwriting. Bad Acting. Jewelry. Penguins. "Lurks" (Non)Appropriate Capitalization. Awkwardness. Wikipedia. Traveling. :) "Reloj" Quoting People/Movies/Books/Songs. Jazz Music. Ray Charles. Ninjas. Shoes, by Kelly. Language Not Linguistics. Inside Jokes. Greek Letters. Seafood. Lovers. Star Wars. Writing Implements. Christmas Lights. Clothes. Gumshoe. Messes. Soulmates. LifeMates. Lol Three. Eyes. Al Green. Uniqueness. Purses. Forgetting A Story's End. Consciousness. Elmo. "Reir" Fill In The _____. Blogging. Creativity. Chairs. Swimming. Oddities. "Flourish" Museums. Cheetos. Wandering. Throwing a Football. Fire. ! Reality. "Diamonte" Pondering Color. Monopoly. Desires. Gum. Fishing. Cold Weather. Typing. Making Someone Smile. Kisses. French fries. Rainy Days. Gricean Maxims. Sleeping. Kaleidoscopes. Biopsychology. God's Plan. Really Old Movies. Sand. Re-attempting Rollerblading. Eating. Hoarding. Playing A Musical Instrument. Talking. Beliefs. Giving Gifts. Rivers. Hugs. Wind. Beach. Breezes. Dancing. Superhuman Powers. Secrets. Edward Norton. Locks. Pirates. Having a Good Time. Working. Owls. Memory Foam. Sleep schedules. Reading. Non-normal Time Flow. Making Lists. Linear Objects. Stereoscopes. Naming Inanimate Objects. Close Friends. Silence. Dreams. Window Shopping. Musicals. Playing Dress-Up. Remembering. Webcomics. Dr. Pepper. Feline-ness. Adjectives. Driving. “R" Arguing. Learning. Breathing. Sunglasses. Ice Cream. Flowers. Pyramids. Small Children. Poetry. Good Smells. No Shoes. Sunlight. Fountains. Mr. Darcy. Love. Lemonade. Cows. The Odd Couple. Obviousity. Winking. Ideas. Walls. Relaxing. Quilts. Thunder. Sunsets. "Philanthropy" Sunrises. College Stories. Orange Juice. Parties. Stove Top Popped Popcorn. Two. Trees. People-Watching. Oceans. Obsessiveness. Sitting. Thinking. GOD. Salsa. Kool-Aid Guy. Growing Mold in Bottles. "J" Commercials. Paint. Keys. Pianos. Neologism. Febreeze. Cookies. Skirts. Funky Shoes. Cheese. Funky Glasses. Junk.

Ruby? Ruppee? Luby? Loopy?

No, really. Listen to the voice mail. This is MY phone. I don't even know for whom you're asking (cf. Title). If you've called this number, idk, 17 times now, Ruby-or-whatever hasn't called you back, AND I answered once to tell you not to call again, then maybe you've got the wrong number. Maybe.

Quit leaving messages. I know you've called. All you say is, " Hey [some name]. Call me. [your name]" I'd be better off not having a message at all. If I saw that I'd had 17 missed calls from some number, then I'd call that number back. I would, of course, be happier knowing who I was calling and why they called me, with heavy emphasis on why. LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH REAL CONTENT. I mean, I guess I'd understand why you'd tell someone to call you back and leave your name if they didn't have your number, but if you've already gone that far, just go ahead and say why you're calling. Not that difficult.

Rant finished.

Seven Good Things

1. !s
2. Boston's "More Than A Feeling"
3. Maybe getting a new house?
4. Oscar Owl and Finicky Felix, my $1-clearance owls
5. Squishable.com
6. Crazy Orgo teachers
7. Less-Common Common Renaming of Organic Molecules (LCCROM): , 1,3-dioxolane aka small owl
   

The Proustian insight is vindicated!

Yes, well.

The Proustian insight has been indeed vindicated, if this journal article is any reliable source. Then again, they did use an exclamation mark in their discussion section... How reliable could they possibly be? I mean, wdt? :P

Cancelled rehearsal for tonight. It would seem too difficult to block a five-person scene with only three people. Unfortunately.

I do get to finish my work, though. You can watch my progress; I'm marking through my finished tasks, as little as they number. :D

Hello, again.

Oh man, Oh man.

I have a presentation due tomorrow.

I HAVE NO ARTICLE ON WHICH TO PRESENT.

Olfaction and memory. Unfortunately for me, no significant research has progressed in this area, and the research done is mostly for mice. Humans are not mice. UNFORTUNATE.

I will get it done. B.S.ing may not be my strong suit, but, by golly, I will have something to present.

To-Do List:

• Fill Out Room Jack Form
• Finish Physics Lab
• Read Psyc Article
• Make PPt
• Rehearsal
• Read Other Psyc Article
• Do Orgo Lab/Report/Pre-Lab

Oh man.

J.Cruz

Mmm.

This would be why I'm awake right now.

And this.

And this.

But I'm not bitter. Really. I enjoy not having sleep because it ensures that I wake up in a timely manner. It helps that I continue to work late at night. No one is around to distract me AND no one is updating my webcomics or Facebooks (unless they are like me) AND I feel bad about not working. :D As strongly evidenced by my blogging. :/

-J.Cruz

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Nine Good Things

1. Going home
2. Making iTunes playlists with "Love" as the only parameter
3. finding owls all over my room
4. Getting a new house!
5. cutting up magazines
6. ScribeFire
7. Writing letters to my textbooks
8. Ignoring the fact I have four tests next week
9. SPRING BREAK IS TWO WEEKS AWAY
   

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Oh dear.

So, for the first time in ages I have to take derivatives. And find maxima. wtf.

Like, honestly, no real life applications. I want to be a neurologist. If it's really necessary, I'll hire someone to find the current from some charge that goes through some pipe in some amount of time. No, really. Someone who does it for a living, aka has a fancy computer to do it for them because heaven only knows that they take the time to manually draw out the graph, find the expression to best fit the data points, etc etc.

Also, what's with all the graphing? It's obvious that you, Mr. Physics-Textbook, already know the answer. Why must you pursue such frivolous ends by forcing me to handcraft two to three graphs for each of these charge, current, time problems. I think I got it the first time. No, really.

I mean, I liked taking derivatives... in high school. Haven't looked back since (except for that time freshman year.. wasn't that an oops..). And I understand that such mathematical complexities are necessary, it's just that anytime I'd need to take a derivative, I will have a computer program to do that for me. Make CompSci majors take derivatives. They seem to enjoy inflicting pain upon themselves as it is.

Anyway, the next time I personally need to use my long unused calculus skills to save the day, I'll also eat my shoe. And I'll buy you a cover. Deal?

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New Month, New Goals

So, it's February. Far too many r's in that word for my liking. No, seriously.

I have a test within the hour. I would study for it, and I have, but I'm too worried about the homework/lab/test thing I have going for tomorrow. Then I have to stop to think, "It won't matter in a hundred years." It doesn't make me feel any better, especially when worrying could, in fact, change the entire course of my life. Which, in turn, will lead to different choices causing a different life and different future for my self and those I'm attached to. Then I get very existentialistic.

Sneezing, by the way, does wonders for existentialism.

Ash Wednesday, aka the beginning of Lent, is, like, two days away. True fact. As a soldier of God (practicing Catholic), I will dutifully report to my station (church) to receive my mark (cross of ashes on my forehead) and my mission (abstinence, charity, productivity). There will probably be a sacrifice (Eucharist) and a reference to God (worldly possessions). Altogether, I think it will be suitable commencement to this 40-day deployment (Lenten season), indicative of its value, etc.

Bugs, Physics, & A Wet Campus

Now, I'm not afraid of bugs. Or-well- my fear of bugs is as easily squashed as a bug. However, when a roach tries to use my jacket while I am still using it... my fear explodes. When such an event occurs during a test... oh Lord, help me. For the record, I didn't freak out or anything. I just kinda took the jacket off and shook it out, discretely. Then I watched it climb up and around the pillar behind me.
Days that start like that don't end so well. While I didn't mind the physics (test or lab) so much, I definitely minded having a lab partner. I won't say that I'd have done the lab faster or more accurately. I'm just saying I don't like waiting for people to do nonexistent calculations. Really. It's kinda ridiculous.
Then, the campus has been wet for a few days. Not like in an alcoholic way (although that is true), but in, like, a it's-slippery-but-not-wet-kinda-damp-really-almost-forgot-to-take-the-meds-emo-kid sort of way.

Anyway, Bobby's almost here. I shouldn't blog when other people are over. It's not very polite.

Summary, things that I don't like:

1. bugs that like to hide in my jacket
2. physics tests that confuse me
3. lab partners who don't know what they are doing
4. Slippery campuses

-jcruz

I must be crazy...

I went to bed last night at seven. Seven P-dot-M-dot. Ridiculously early, I know. I slept until 5:30 this morning. I know, who has that kind of time? Apparently I do, except I don't. I have this test at 8. A little more than an hour from now, then class until lunch. Lab at two-thirty. Dinner. Rehearsal. Test tomorrow too. Three staff meetings- two at the same time. double you, tea, eff. Honestly.
At least I have Peggy Lee to keep me company... "Hey big spender! Spend a little time with me... wouldn't you like to have fun?" jk.

-JCruz

Five Good Things

1. No reading for Psyc!
2. Cast for The Odd Couple
3. Tea at the Master's house
4. xkcd.com
5. Peanuts comic strip